Perhaps this person could be nominated for the Self-Refuting Chair of Logic:
“The University of Colorado is considering a $9 million program to bring high-profile conservatives to teach on the left-leaning Boulder campus.”
From this affirmative action hire the occupant could rail against university education, intellectualism, and affirmative action.
**h/t Stanley Fish.
Since actually BEING a conservative doesn’t seem to be required for the job, perhaps you should apply. You might have acquired the necessary expertise after years of dissecting George Will. Though, already being an integral part of the traditional, proselytizing wing of the liberal academic machine, I’m sure that $200,000 salary would be a step down.