{"id":4167,"date":"2013-05-03T10:49:23","date_gmt":"2013-05-03T15:49:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/?p=4167"},"modified":"2013-05-03T10:49:23","modified_gmt":"2013-05-03T15:49:23","slug":"do-you-want-firm-weasely-abs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/?p=4167","title":{"rendered":"Do you want firm, weasely abs?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Weaseling is a form of informational misdirection.\u00c2\u00a0 You get your audience to agree to a very weak version of a commitment, then proceed as if they&#8217;ve agreed to a stronger version.\u00c2\u00a0 The greatest weasel ever was in <em>Dumb and Dumber<\/em> when unattainable romantic interest in the film says that one of the dumb guys only has a <strong>one-in-a-million chance<\/strong> of ever having something with her, and he giddily replies <strong>&#8220;So you&#8217;re telling me there&#8217;s a chance!&#8221;<\/strong> (See the clip <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=KX5jNnDMfxA\">HERE<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p>Beachbody, the giant exercise company that has brought you the Sunday morning infomercials about <em>P90X<\/em> and <em>Insanity!<\/em>, has a product called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.beachbody.com\/product\/fitness_programs\/hip_hop_abs.do\"><em>HipHopAbs<\/em><em><\/em><\/a> (don&#8217;t click the link if you hate frenetic pop music).\u00c2\u00a0 They have all the perfunctory before and after photos, but this awesome weasel caught my eye:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Jump-start your weight loss with this easy-to-follow plan that will help you lose up to 3 inches off your waist in your first week!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Up to 3 inches.\u00c2\u00a0 Now, that<em> means<\/em>:\u00c2\u00a0 no more than 3 inches.\u00c2\u00a0 But you <em>hear<\/em>: 3 inches.\u00c2\u00a0 Now you own HipHopAbs.\u00c2\u00a0 So you&#8217;re sayin&#8217; there&#8217;s a chance!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Weaseling is a form of informational misdirection.\u00c2\u00a0 You get your audience to agree to a very weak version of a commitment, then proceed as if they&#8217;ve agreed to a stronger version.\u00c2\u00a0 The greatest weasel ever was in Dumb and Dumber when unattainable romantic interest in the film says that one of the dumb guys only &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/?p=4167\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Do you want firm, weasely abs?<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[95,26,54],"tags":[1646],"class_list":["post-4167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fallacies-of-ambiguity-fallacies-argument-problems","category-suppressed-evidence","category-things-that-are-false","tag-weasels"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4167"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4168,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167\/revisions\/4168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenonsequitur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}